Learn while you can!

If I ever felt for even a moment that the world was one and that no 'narrow boundaries' separated mankind, it was during my second lab rotation at the Temasek Life Sciences laboratory (TLL) in NUS. The research group that I am working in is a truly multinational team. The professor is a japanese.she works real hard and demands really good work from us but I have not broached the topic of Pearl harbour with her... (Come on, you want me to be chucked out even before I begin? :), the post doctoral fellow is a Russian. As you might have guessed, I haven’t talked about the cold war or vodka with her. One grad student is from China. Well, apart from the great wall, communism and the fact that they eat practically anything, I don’t know much about China. Last but not least, here I am: an Indian. Quite naturally, I must have been a snake charmer in my previous life.

The unwritten code of humanity says that we should be quite happy to tolerate our different ways of life (which might seem to be eccentricities). That is exactly what people are doing here and that is exactly what I find so interesting in a place that could easily fit inside Madras. It’s so small an area but it has representatives from over 50 or 60 nations( Surce: NUS webpage) and also has representatives from all religions. True, India is also a secular country but our secularity has been challenged from time to time and the world considers India as a country that struggles to balance its stupendous economic growth with a rapidly burgeoning population and still strives towards a seemingly unattainable goal of socio economic development for all. In this regard, I would like to present an objective analysis of things that Singapore and India can learn from each other.

DISCLAIMER: The following is purely a work of fiction. Any resemblance to pro active government measures aimed at development is purely coincidental. The views that follow are necessarily mine and do not reflect the views of the common Singaporean man (who is too busy) and the common Indian man (who doesn’t care). Any fool is entitled to give his/her opinion and therefore I qualify to give my opinion. If you feel that my opinion is crap, you can freely express your views but I dont give a **** (Wow! That is what I call receptivity, mutual understanding and coexistence :).


5 things India should learn from Singapore

1) Learn to respect traffic rules and be considerate to pedestrians (the problem in Singapore is, If you don’t follow the rules, more than the possibility of you being fined, you could easily be killed by a car travelling at 62.13 Miles/hour).

2) Learn to be being polite to offenders and people of other races even when 99.99% of yourself feels disgusted and wants to bash up the guy.

3) Learn how to depend so much on technology that, if somebody pulls a plug or plants a bug, you can’t travel, you can buy water and you can’t eat.

4) Learn the art of using so much plastic that could cover a whole beach and then spending a day to clean up the beach.

5) Learn the art of eating anything, anywhere, anytime and with anyone.



5 things India should NOT learn from Singapore

1) Never ever try to learn peaceful coexistence.

2) Never ever learn to respect individuals and to recognize their individuality.

3) Don’t even try to understand how to make life better for the common man.

4) Never attempt to use technology for growth and if it’s a nuclear deal that can bring in power and can light up villages, vehemently oppose it.

5) Never recognize the efforts of the government whatever be the development it has brought about.


5 things Singapore should learn from India

1) Learn how to complain about everything and conveniently forget that you have done nothing to help.

2) Learn how to use your horn. Consider this, why would automobile companies provide horns in their cars if all you can do in a traffic jam is WAIT.

3) Learn the art of idolizing sportsmen. More importantly learn the art of changing your perspective about them with their every single act or performance.

4) Learn how to be corrupt and how to foolishly get caught red handed by a spy cam with your name occupying every single news channel all over the country for days at a stretch.

5) Learn how to play down you misery and still vote every time expecting somebody will change things around for you. (Off the records: You know when I was in the 4th standard, I first learnt that India was a developing country and faced a lot of problems such as.blah blah... it has been about 17 years now and my youngest cousin still reads the same thing in his book.)


5 things Singapore should NOT learn from India

1) Never learn the art of being flexible and adjust.

2) Never try to start trusting people rather than being subserviently dependent on machines.

3) Never try to understand that there are limitations to what your country can do for you.

4) Never learn the secret of a sound public health system. Instead keep harping about how costly healthcare is (This and dengue are probably the only 2 issues for public health specialists in Singapore).

5) Finally, never learn the sanctity of familial relationships and home.

Well I should learn 2 things quickly :

1) To shut up
2) Martial arts. In case either Indians or Singaporeans or both want to take a swipe at me after reading this.